Most of you know that our sister-in-law went through a devastating loss this past week. There are just no words to describe how badly my heart hurts for Jeni, Aaron, Becky and the rest of the Young family. I stayed at there house a lot growing up and Kim would say the same thing everytime I walked in....Andrew, Brynlee and I stayed at Kim and Becky's house with Aaron, Jeni and the girls back in May and once again he said the same thing....I'm not sure how appropriate it would be to quote him so I will just leave it at that! :) Most of our conversations with him were repeated everytime we were together because I just couldn't help but laugh and Kim definitely LOVED making people laugh! I will never forget his laugh and I am so grateful to have known him. Please keep their family in your thoughts and prayers, we have all suffered a loss at some point and it is impossible to get through them alone!
So...this week has been VERY eventful and VERY emotional. I had a regular prenatal appointment Friday which led me to the hospital! Well to start things off, a few weeks ago I had the MOST AWFUL heartburn I have ever had and it lasted 2 weeks with no relief. I was in so much pain, I could hardly eat and laying down was unthought of. I slept in a chair for 2 weeks. Well, I started to have a little chest pain last Wednesday, but it only hurt when I would take a deep breath....I honestly thought my back needed an adjustment because most the pain was in my upper right back. Friday at the appointment I mentioned it to her and by her face, I knew she was concerned. She told me she thought it was a Pulmonary Embolism (blood clot in my lung) and I needed to get to radiology over at the hospital right away. She dopplered the baby's heartbeat while she was on the phone with radiology and that's all that appointment consisted of. Of course I was completely freaking out, numerous people die from these daily...and to make matters worse I had Brynlee with me. I rushed over to the hospital and prayed the entire way and constantly looking back at Brynlee reminding her how much I love her. (She kept saying "mommy, I sorry, I wuv you." Poor thing thinks when someone cries it's her fault!) Andrew met us at the hospital. I had a CT scan, which was freaking me out because babies not supposed to be exposed to radiation. They put drapes over me to do the best to protect the baby. We waited there for the results. My Dr. actually called me there after she talked to the radiologist and said there was no embolism! But there is an enlarged lymph node or mass. Now the question is, how do we take care of it?! Is it worth putting a 19 week pregnant woman under radiation again?! So my Dr. talked to the pulmonologist (lung specialist) on Monday. And later that afternoon gave me a call too. This mass now turned into an esophageal rupture, a fungal or viral infection, or...the most dreaded word ever.....LYMPHOMA. Everytime I even think it, my eyes well up with tears. And now it needs to be biopsied. Because of being pregnant everything gets super tricky from here on out. Carle cannot do the biopsy because they do not that the equipment needed to get that deep in my chest without causing more problems for me or the baby. He referred us to Barnes Jewish Hospital in St. Louis. We go tomorrow. I am scared out of my mind. I have cried constantly. I have no idea how long it will take to get results but I am begging and pleading for your prayers. I am not only pregnant but I am the mother of a very special and perfect little girl and a wife to the most amazing man. I have an amazing Dr who has called everyday and today when I met with the High Risk OB, came in just to give me a hug and see how I was doing. I know this is all a part of God's Plan and I know that He is in control. He will take care of us but I keep questioning everything. I know I have to stay positive but...I guess it's human nature.
Pregnancy Stats
Weight gain this month: 2 lbs
Total weight gain: 6 lbs (yikes...with Brynlee I was still at 0!)
Baby's Heartrate: (I didn't get at the appointment because we were in such a hurry I am sure it was higher that usual because mine was through the roof...usually for me it's 135bpm and occaionally jumps to 145bpm)
I started wearing maternity pants on Thanksgiving, my jeans were getting a little too uncomfortable after getting washed!
Oh...And our one piece of good news this week.....we have a very healthy, extremely active and stubborn little BOY growing in this belly! After everything that is going on we couldn't wait on the gender. I need everything positive I can get to hold onto for the procedure tomorrow!
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